


Walking Comps and Raging Wedding Cakes

by Kasan_Soulblade



Category: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4645227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasan_Soulblade/pseuds/Kasan_Soulblade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because you had to walk chomps, not just leave them tied down on guard duty all day.  And there were some other niceties about caring for them like with any other pet.</p><p>Don't knot the chains, it makes them surly.  Let them bite any plumber they want, you don't want what they're selling anyway.  And if you find any running plumbers just let the chain go. Chasing plumbers is great exercise, and if they catch up you don't have to feed for a day or so.</p><p>As for diet, plumber parts are best, but in a pinch cake will do.</p><p>Figures he'd introduce her to Chomp raising, wonder of wonders she'd take a shine to it, he had a shine to her.</p><p>It was a recipe that wasn't going to end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walking Comps and Raging Wedding Cakes

Walking Comps and Raging Wedding Cakes

Chapter One: The Chompa 

"Turn around, she's shy."

To that absurdity there came a disbelieving silence. Mouth opening, closing, it was on the tip of the mustached one's lips to ask the obvious. The "how can you tell it's a she?" After all, the creature in question was round ball, had a chain for a tail, and sported a face that was more fangs than anything else. Said fangs took up half of the creature’s body and they were _not_ bared in a "how do you do" smile.

"Ar Ark!" Clearly agitated the Chomp writhed about on her bound chain, shaking her head -really the whole of her body- first left and right. Steal links clinked and rattled at the rotation that could have been -maybe was- the miming of a more human motion.

The shaking of a head.

"Shh... there's a good girl." Loosening his grip on the chains he'd been working on the Koopa King sighed. His claws tinked on her glossy skull and with a purr the chomp drew as close as Booster's knots would allow. Whining a bit when the give wasn’t enough to roll up to his heel and lean against him for a better tapping the chomp stared up at the scaled creature, her possible freer, with wet beady eyes. Tapping her some more, more to not think about the smoke that coiled in his throat, thick and ash bitter as frustration the Koopa realied this wasn’t going to work. She'd toss and turn into a tangle that he wasn't able to undo at this rate. Whirling around, stamping a clawed foot, he glared at the newest, and most reluctant members of his Koopa Troop.

The Marshmallow creature cringed back. Black eyes wide, pasty complexion paling to a cloudy white. While that was sorta satisfying (more than sorta, he checked back a satisfied "Bwahaha" at the brat's fear) it wasn't enough. Enough would have been the lot pulling a full about face followed by marching out the door.

Unfortunately his new Troop were so easily spooked. Eyes wide, weary, but not really scared, that wsa the puff ball. Mario had his arms over his chest, his blue eyes alight –as always- with that irritating curiosity that emptied the halls of coins and the question blocks of all their goodies. Gritting his fangs, guessing the questions, Bowser beat the plumber to the punch.

"Yeah, she's a she." One bushy eyebrow rose, and still no leaving. To that borderline mutiny the Koopa King bared his yellow fangs in what was _not_ a smile. "Ya wanna have me talk about the differences between girls and boys Mario?"

Eyes wide with disgust (but Bowser would call it fear, made him feel better anyway) the plumber shook his head so violently it was a wonder that silly red hat didn't go flying.

Flashing his fangs in a grin, never mind the smoke that leaked out, Bowser chuckled. A step down form "Mwahaha"ing, but he'd take what he could.

"Weren't you three scatting?" The Koopa King drawled, waving his claws hands to better shoo them out.

Taking the better part of valor, but not before flashing a wooden grin over his shoulder, the living doll, self-proclaimed star warrior, _whatever_ it was, beat a quick exit. The door clicked shut, and now there was only two of the peanut gallery waiting.

Swallowing, looking a bit green –he'd of made a descent koopa had there been a shell to go along with the green- the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom set his hand on Mallow's shoulder and got the animate pastry heading the right way.

Innocence incarnate, the marshmallow looked over his shoulder to stare at the Koopa King, than to the Hero of the group, confusion obvious. "We're… we aren't scared of… of you…right Mario?"

To that the plumber shook his head, another miracle of miracles, the hat stayed atop.

"But then why do you look all… koopa…e?"

The door opened and closed, cutting off the inanity. Heaving a sigh Bowser groaned. If only he could keep the door shut, permanently. But… but sanity and "how it should have been"s were thrown out of the window when that blasted sword had come out of the sky and shishkabobed his home. Suddenly he missed his home.

Wishes mixed with desperation, with missing, and came out like pain.

He ached, just _ached_ , for the scent of lava. Missed having Goomba underfoot, despite they _were_ the picture next to the definition of incompetent. He wanted nothing more than to roar at some bumbling Koopa and not have to wonder where the lecture was gunna come from. He dreamed of a time when he had nothing better to do than sprawl out over his throne, loll his head back, and glare up at the swaying chandeliers to better dream up plots and perhaps a romantic dinner…

After a kidnapping of course.

All kidnappings lead to romantic dinners, after all. That's how it was supposed to go. But throw a plumber in the mix and it never went well.

"Arf?"

Shaking off his ruminations the Koopa cracked a small smile, peanut gallery gone; it was time to get to work.

"Don't worry girl." He assured the Chompa, not a _Chomp_ like that idiot Mario probably assumed. "I'll get you out of there. Booster's such a nut case he's gotta be dumb, it's just how it goes ya know?"

Assured, she hopped near, or tried, she’d already been at the end of her rope. Raking his claws over her steel skull, she looked up at him, black eyes melting.

"Bet ya bit him good."

Her tail wagged, or tried, the knotted end thudded against the tiles killing the moment.

"Let's get you outta here then, and you can bite him again, as much as you want."

She bared her teeth in what was definitely a smile, and the "Bwa Ha" from earlier came out. And since there was no one there to say anything about it, he let himself have a good old villains laugh.


End file.
